Hi Amana,

The American image of motherhood is full of disillusioning distortions. For many, many, MANY parents the first early months of parenthood are just rough. Really, rough. If you are "blessed" with a infant on the more fussy end of the scale it's truly a game of survival. This is normal. Miserable but normal.

First, your baby is going to change and change again and change again. What your baby is doing now, what your baby needs now, will change every 1-2 weeks in the first 3 months. At this stage they change so much and so fast. This means that if he doesn't sleep now it does not mean he won't sleep later. You can't predict this.

Some concrete help.

1. The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp, MD is loaded with tips on how to soothe the fussiest of babies. I had a friend with a colicky baby and his techniques helped more than any others.

2. "The Sleep Easy Solution" is by far the best sleep advice book out there. I have twins (now 12 y/o) who both wouldn't sleep in any kind of consolidated way. We tried every soother, rocker, book and even a sleep consultant. No success. But when we got the Sleep Easy Solution and followed all the steps it really worked. Be aware however that this kind of sleep help isn't done until the baby is 5 months post his original due date. This is because sleep consolidation is dependent upon brain development.

3. Until you can use the Sleep Easy techniques: You and your husband will do best if you each get at lease 5 hours of consolidated sleep each night. Divide the night shift in half. Sleep in separate locations so that the sleeping person actually gets to sleep. Pass over baby and responsibility and go get some sleep. This still won't be enough buy it will be better.

4. If you can get help now is the time.

5. You probably won't really feel like you've got a grip on parenthood until your child is about 5 years old. This is normal. But, it will get better and easier little by little. Seek help, seek support, know that you are not alone. If you're thinking this might have all been a crazy mistake, that's normal too. Hang in there you are in the easiest hardest months. This too shall pass. The rewards are huge when they come but you don't get a lot of them in the first few months. You'll make it thru!