I'm with you 100% on this. So much guilt and judgement gets left unspoken around this issue. Like, is it "okay" to NOT be endlessly self sacrificing and caring for the needs of others every single minute? Is it okay to live a less frantic life if we can? Yes and Yes.

I'm also quite sure I don't want to go back to a job where I have to report to some one. I mean really! Yuck! I don't want to deal with that garbage if I don't have to! I like being in charge.

I also know that I need some kind of intellectual challenge and stimulation beyond parenting. How to get it? That's what I'm working on.

After a year of home schooling, I was counting down the days until my kids were back in school. They adjusted great! They are happy! And for the first month of school, I was depressed. I didn't know what to do with my time, and I had no long term goals. For me that was hard.

I have found something I want to work on. Getting my book out. It's been exciting work on it again. But I'm also glad I've got time to take my kids to and from school, be there if they are sick without negotiating with an employer, be able to be flexible if sudden travel comes up for my husband etc. Just because there may be room to breath doesn't mean the invisible work of women is any less valuable.

There's another issue here. I realized that if my husband and I were meeting people, he could talk about tangible things that he'd done. Some project at work. Some home repair project. There were so many identifiable accomplishments. But it was much harder for me to point to my achievements. Like I anticipated my tween daughter's rapid movement into puberty, made sure she had reading material and conversations about periods and body changes, found a bra top she found comfortable, managed some car talk time about body image and helped her negotiate all the new challenges of having a period.... Or that I sorted through everyone's out grown clothes and figured out what was needed for next season. ...Or that I've slowly expanded my son's dietary palate to include veggies in soup format.

We get no credit for all the work we do which can leave us feeling unseen. My current plan is to go back through the calander and write out as much stuff as I can. (not including the private stuff!) and then if we have a visitor to the house and hubby is showing off his latest addition to the deck, I can take them by my list and start telling them about it all. "Here's when I..., and here's when I..." I'm pretty sure the mom's will get it!

Last thing. Transitions can be hard. Just sit with it. Let it be hard for a bit. Talk with trusted friends. Write articles like this one. Along the way you'll find a path or two that intrigues you.

Good luck!