Oh Wow! You got handed a big jumble of some of the biggest parenting challenges...and in the middle of Covid!

First, take a deep breath and pat yourself on the back. These are tough issues you're dealing with even for experienced parents.

Let's walk through all this and see if pulling it apart helps you figure out next steps.

Your child is very young. Very, very young. It is very hard for professionals and non professionals to make acurate assessments of kids this young simply because the range of normal is so wide. And as you have said a young child's behavior can vary enormously from one setting to another.

Could your son have a speech issue that will benefit from more intervention at this special preschool? Could be. Maybe he would thrive there. Or maybe the new environment would be just one more disruption in social relationships that would make it harder for him to socialize.

Is early intervention important to some developmental issues? Yes. Hugely so.

Do I believe that we also over pathalogize our children? Yes. Sometimes they just need time to grow. Time to be.

So here you are right smack in the middle of these big questions and it's all wrapped up in someone you love so deeply.

I don't think there is a "right or wrong" answer here. If you keep him in his current school and later decide he'd benefit from a different approach then you've given him the gift of time to grow and mature in an environment that feels known and safe. That's a fine gift for a young child and you can still decide on next steps later.

If you move him now you give him the gift of more focused attention on his speech. If it's good then it's good. If it stresses him out then you can pull him out.

Either approach is a perfectly reasonable parenting approach. Neither you nor the professionals helping you really know what, if any, issue your son has.

What's great is that you have so many people who care.

You can also get some more information to help you with your decision. Ask the director of the special school if they know of a parent who would speak with you. Or mask up and go to the school for pick up time. Tell a parent you might bring your child there and ask them what they think of the place.

Video your son at home interacting with you and his dad so you can show this to his EI specialists. Make an appointment to speak with them and ask them to be very clear about their concerns. I agree that whining, not napping, and wandering off on his own at play are well within normal behavior. But they may be seeing something else.

Professionals who work with children are dedicated to our most loved and vulnerable. They really care. But it's also true that if you go looking for pathology it's more likely you'll find what your looking for. And frankly there's a lot of behavior from young kids that looks pathological but is really just that child's normal phase. It's not easy to tease out.

So, if you think that what you're dealing with is tough...well you're right!

Which brings us back to you. You're exhausted. Sometimes (not always) the best thing you can do for your kid is what makes life easier for you. Happiness and stability at home can make a safe environment for big developmental jumps. So include that thought in you decision too.

Remember nothing is written in stone. If you go one way and change your mind...you can change it up! And later...you can change things again!

Big deep breath, mama. This is a long haul game. Take care and hang in there!