The Myth of Organization:
Truth? Organization is just one more myth foisted off on women. Like “work — life balance.” It just doesn’t happen, and failure to attain either organization or work-life balance is not a failure. It’s just life. There is no attaining “organization” just the constant juggle of overwhelming volumes of things to do, to attend to, and to hopefully cross off The List.
So, whatever helps is a good thing and don’t throw it out if it’s not perfect. And don’t beat yourself that you’re not perfect. None of us are, and giving yourself a standard that is greater than you’d expect of others is, at its deepest level, a bit arrogant. That is what helped me let go of perfectionism. The realization that there’s a bit of hubris at its core. Once you let go of that, you can joined the big mass of swirling sardines, each silvery and beautiful while no greater than the rest. From there you gain community and the space to breathe into imperfection. Not the golden fish amongst the silver crowd. Just one of the other silver beauties.
If you let go of the goal of attaining “organization” then you can just look at what is and isn’t working now. Brainstorm ideas and then be flexible when things shift.
It’s also important to remember that organization that involves other people requires people who are capable of following through. Maybe you have those people in your life, and maybe you don’t. So, coming up with a way to organize the kids toys only works if you, your kids, and your partner all get on board. In my life that was a useless ask. Or maybe you want everyone to log into a shared “notes” file on their iPhone and put in grocery needs so you don’t have to invent the list. Again, only works if others are on board. If your peeps are not capable in this way then you’re stuck with your own strategies or delegation of the task to others.
Here are some things that have helped me juggle “the stuff” at different times:
1. Daily to do lists written on anything I can find.
2. Post-it notes stuck to computer, desk, phone
3. 2 small spiral note books one with “to do” for writing project; one with daily life “to do” stuff
4. Word documents in which I compile links to references related to writing or family topic issues etc.
5. The “notes” section in my phone: I keep and on-going grocery shopping list. It has 3 parts: one for Raleys, one for Trader Joes, one for Target. I only include things I’m likely to forget when at the store, or now that the list is shared with my husband, things I want him to get. The big, full-on shopping list needs are still in my head, and I use the “wander up and down aisles technique” to jog my memory of what is needed. My elderly mother now no longer drives so I’ve linked a separate notes shopping list to her as well.
6. I keep a small paper calendar with one month per page. When closed it’s about the size of a dollar bill. For some reason the digital calendar stuff doesn’t work for me. When I manage it, I’ll write the kids’ school schedule on the calendar in advance…but that only happens sometimes. I carry the calendar with me everywhere and try to put everything on it. Generally, I’ll refuse to commit to anything new until I’ve looked at the calendar.
7. I print out and post at home the kids’ (they’re 14y/o) school calendar. I tape it to a kitchen cabinet.
I hope some of those ideas help. I encourage everyone to remember that juggling always involves dropped balls. And we bright silvery sardines swimming beside you are dropping balls all the time too!
Feel free to post ideas about what’s helped you with the daily juggle.
Cheers,
Kathleen
Originally published at https://kathleencawley.substack.com.
